Like clever animated videos based on Nerve.com’s “how-to” sex act encyclopedia series, but don’t actually like sex? We must admit, today’s debut must be particularly trying for your virgin eyes. What with all the double-pronged buttbar lifting and whatnot.
Well, we here at the Super Deluxe blog have come up with a solution for all of you Debbie Do Nots. It took a little work, but it was worth it: we corralled the most asexual frames we could find in the Position of the Day series and made our very own non-sexual “positions.” As you can see, they’re just as entertaining as the originals but now the whole family can enjoy!
Feeling frisky yet contemplative? How about meditating on a four-legged position that’s as inanimate as your sex drive will soon be?
Take a talk on the wild side. Nothing says “experimental” like a menage a chat!
And this position equals a good time for any celibate sleeper looking to catch some Zzz’s. Remember: the pajamas stay on!
Achtung! This Cold War relic is alive and well in any household reeling from the divisive politics of exhausted parenting and iced-over sexuality.
Who says being a socially-isolated bookworm isn’t exciting? Let this position spice up your library time while helping you tame that bulging bladder.
Feel like making love? Not after you get done hanging out with this buzzkill of a “position.” Fresh from the physical rehab clinic, his hard-luck story is guaranteed to maim even the most robust sexual appetites.
Down! Set! Heterosexual friendship! Choose your respective side of the gridiron and dig in. Because this position is the human equivalent of the “not gay” seat you and your buddy sit on either side of at the football game.
Speaking of lonely inanimate objects, here’s a position without any living room for people. Much less sex.
Being alone is no excuse to remain Idol! Just pull up your legwarmers and Flashdance back to a time when AIDS made everybody celibate.
And you can’t catch any diseases just sitting around, now can you?
But if by some sudden slip of restraint you do happen to catch a stray dick booger, the doctor is always in. And always ready to shove a needle up your dying libido.
Every guy’s been in this position before. So, it should feel like coming home. That is, if your home was built on a solid foundation of cockblocks.
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haha, not bad superD blogger-peps. some of your entries have been lacking, and this one is a little lengthy. but i actually laughed reading it. kudos. keep it up.
Awesome post!