Look, there’s already been a lot of scuttlebutt online about this little-known multimedia conference in Houston, TX. I’ll admit, I’ve been privy to some of the more outrageous tall tales about some of the musical acts. Like the one about Evanescence. Supposedly, they’re going to dedicate a special acoustic set to the late Anna Nicole Smith. While I have not seen anything to support this, it sure sound like it would be a moving experience.
Now, I’m no music industry insider, but I’ll let you guys in on some real hot tips about this year’s must-see highlights. There is word that Jim Croce will both be reuniting for the event; I’m not really sure what they sound like, but I’ve heard a lot of scary shit about their lead singer, Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. There’s also a rumor going around about a possible late-night, invite-only showcase by DJ Jazzy Jeff. And I’ve also heard through the proverbial grapevine that Yoko Ono will be standing in a cardboard box on 6th St., screaming at random people and demanding falafel.
Here’s what I’m most excited about! Sting (my favorite!) is reportedly taking time off from the recent Police reunion shows to stage another reunion of sorts: word is he, Rod Stewart, and muthafuckin’ Bryan Adams will be coming together one last time to perform their classic “All For Love” from the 1993 Three Muskateers soundtrack. Can you believe it?? The boys are back in town!!
I’m going to cut myself off now, lest I divulge all of my SXSW secrets. But I will leave you guys with this final lil’ nugget: apparently, Fall Out Boy is planning on taking a shit at the Chili’s off of exit 259 in suburban Houston. Not sure if that will be affiliated with the conference, but I’ve heard tell that there will be a podcast forthcoming.
Anywho, whatever you’re doing this week, just know that we here at Super Deluxe will be enjoying ourselves in the warm Texas sun, drinking warm beer and wearing unseasonably warm clothes. We’re trying to lose weight.
Oh, and apparently we’re also helping put this on.
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Enjoy Houston, you left wing leftist gurerilla communist rat bastard. If, perchance, you decide to come to lovely AUSTIN, TX, I might buy you an eight-ball and a hooker to double team. Thanks for paying attention.
Keep St. Rutter away from the beer nuts!
Sting is hot as fuck.
The Sting/Stewart/Adams reunion is going to be almost as good as the Kenny Rogers/Lionel Ritchie reunion on “Crossroads”, where Kenny talked about all the songs Lionel wrote for him, because Kenny has no other discernable talent.
Thank you for the clarification, Fucking Strutter. May I call you Fuck? Anywho, I’m not really sure if that was sarcasim. Hard to tell on print. By the way, does anyone have a couple spare wristbands. I will trade you for a beer of your choice. A BEER. Trying to hit the Cursive show at Beauty Bar is going to be a real bitch, but life is full of disappointments and girlfriends with high standards. out.
You will need to be very stoned to enjoy this to the fullest extent possible.